It’s been an interesting July for me. I started a new job, I have been looking for a new apartment and I have been trying to keep it together, mentally as well as emotionally, while urging myself to get the recommended daily hours of sleep. And then as I finally worked through my exhaustion to update my website (aka this blog you are reading), I realized I was hacked! My files disappeared. My site consisted of nothing more than a one line error message on white, bland infinite space. Of all the things to do in the world and of all the websites to do it to, I was chosen…well my poor blog was chosen. The things people go through to get off still leaves me scratching my head. But thanks to some great help (thanks Mike and Khanh), my database with all my pics and words was restored and backed up. I guess the hackers have another chance to do whatever it was they did with my meager blog one more time or I can just continue to do as I have always done…work with my blinders on.

Me on my 1st birthday. Look at all the goodies! I am trying to maintain my composure by eating my fingers.

Wow…..so a year has passed, like a few days ago and I didn’t even bother to update the blog. Damn! I have been trying to be the best blog master in history, but bitch has a day job. I don’t know how people do it. My life has been a roller coaster ride. I just got a new day job, which means my life just got a lot busier. Hopefully that doesn’t mean I can’t muster up the strength that are my typing fingers to write something at least, say, once a week, right? I mean, take a picture, post the picture and write!! Simple!! What the hell is my problem? After telling myself I was going to give this blog or experiment or experimental blog a real assessment so that it truly represented who I am as a writer of food, I go ahead and not write anything for months. And to be honest, I tried and landed, again, flat on my face. First off, I need a new camera, which requires money. And now that I have a new job, I will be able to purchase said camera. Second, I need to make time which means I need to rest up on weekday nights after a long hard day so that I have the energy to write thoughtful pieces each week during my time off. Third, I need to be a better planner, which never seemed to be a problem before (ask my friend, Tasha and my sister) since I always over-plan. But I figured too late in the game that my over-planning was not resulting in anything but absolute misery.  Maybe I was taking the whole ‘no plan is now my new plan’ motto a little too seriously. A girl can’t win, can she? So I apologize to those who read and process my words with some kindness. I am trying my best. I am human and not infallible. In fact, I am basically assembled with faulty pieces. Hopefully by the time my birthday comes around this late summer or early fall, depending on what you think early September is, I will be posting regularly and not neglecting something I planned to pour my heart and soul into. See you soon and keep on reading!! Please!

I was never one to keep a diary. Although it is sentimental to look back on the days passed, I also find it embarrassing and sometimes rather disappointing. But almost four years ago, I purchased a 5 year diary, believing that by the time I would hit 30, my life would not play out like ‘Groundhog’s Day’ and I would have something significant to jot down. Since then, I write a tidbit about my day, bad or good, before I go to bed. I sometimes flip back and read past excerpts to remind myself what issues were dwelling on my mind and causing me anxiety or what moments were of great excitement and joy. There is also one trend that repeats within each year’s worth of entries. I make goals, usually the same two, reworded and full of hope that I achieve what I need to do, ending a chapter of my life that should have concluded the year before.

But there is a problem with this particular situation. I do not multi-task. I firmly believe that you really cannot do one thing well when trying to do many things adequately. I am a list person. What do I need to do today in order to do the next thing tomorrow? And here’s the kicker. Because I am who I am, I never accomplish what I really want to accomplish. One incomplete goal is another goal’s road block. My life IS ‘Groundhog’s Day.’ I really do not want to be Bill Murray despite the fact that he is exceedingly entertaining. I can only wish I were that funny.

So this new year ushers in another 12 months to set my mind on a goal and ‘get it done’. No matter how much I despise New Year’s resolutions, I, like everyone else, make them anyway, because to start anew brings hope and triggers a natural high, far better that any narcotic could produce. 2010′s agenda seems to be more than a perpetual list maker can undertake. As well as continuing to read the flood of books covering my bedroom floor and writing for writing’s sake, I plan to make Grade A Fresh far better that I first imagined. This blog has been years in the making. Like all things worth the effort, it tests my patience and my ability. It is a no-brainer that I wanted to combine my love of writing and cooking into a one go-to resource, but I sometimes have to step back and re-evaluate my first intention for the blog. In other words, ‘I needs a break.’ I am a one-woman baking and cooking and writing machine that has completely exhausted her energy. I am beginning the new year with an actual fresh start.

I also need to lay off the eating! I do love the four slices of cake in one sitting like any normal over-eater, but the lower half of my body is paying dearly for my inability to divide recipes to yield minimal servings. I end up with leftovers or a bloated stomach, resulting in a wicked cycle of eating poorly and then feeling poorly, both emotionally and physically. Only a woman of greater strength can endure the dizzying effects.

2010 will a massive undertaking for me. Although I do have my hesitations, I look forward to completing at least one goal, while maintaining the authenticity of Grade A Fresh. I no longer want to re-write what I have done the previous year. I do believe my diary is sick of it and I, too, have grown frustrated of re-reading essentially the same thing. January will be my time to reflect and refocus while 2010 will be my time to write new entries.

Come back in February. I promise to have plenty to see and read and hopefully to enjoy. Maybe, by that time, I will be an accomplished multi-tasker. Better to do many things at least once than not to do them at all.

Here’s to what the future may bring. Cin Cin!