I was never one to keep a diary. Although it is sentimental to look back on the days passed, I also find it embarrassing and sometimes rather disappointing. But almost four years ago, I purchased a 5 year diary, believing that by the time I would hit 30, my life would not play out like ‘Groundhog’s Day’ and I would have something significant to jot down. Since then, I write a tidbit about my day, bad or good, before I go to bed. I sometimes flip back and read past excerpts to remind myself what issues were dwelling on my mind and causing me anxiety or what moments were of great excitement and joy. There is also one trend that repeats within each year’s worth of entries. I make goals, usually the same two, reworded and full of hope that I achieve what I need to do, ending a chapter of my life that should have concluded the year before.
But there is a problem with this particular situation. I do not multi-task. I firmly believe that you really cannot do one thing well when trying to do many things adequately. I am a list person. What do I need to do today in order to do the next thing tomorrow? And here’s the kicker. Because I am who I am, I never accomplish what I really want to accomplish. One incomplete goal is another goal’s road block. My life IS ‘Groundhog’s Day.’ I really do not want to be Bill Murray despite the fact that he is exceedingly entertaining. I can only wish I were that funny.
So this new year ushers in another 12 months to set my mind on a goal and ‘get it done’. No matter how much I despise New Year’s resolutions, I, like everyone else, make them anyway, because to start anew brings hope and triggers a natural high, far better that any narcotic could produce. 2010′s agenda seems to be more than a perpetual list maker can undertake. As well as continuing to read the flood of books covering my bedroom floor and writing for writing’s sake, I plan to make Grade A Fresh far better that I first imagined. This blog has been years in the making. Like all things worth the effort, it tests my patience and my ability. It is a no-brainer that I wanted to combine my love of writing and cooking into a one go-to resource, but I sometimes have to step back and re-evaluate my first intention for the blog. In other words, ‘I needs a break.’ I am a one-woman baking and cooking and writing machine that has completely exhausted her energy. I am beginning the new year with an actual fresh start.
I also need to lay off the eating! I do love the four slices of cake in one sitting like any normal over-eater, but the lower half of my body is paying dearly for my inability to divide recipes to yield minimal servings. I end up with leftovers or a bloated stomach, resulting in a wicked cycle of eating poorly and then feeling poorly, both emotionally and physically. Only a woman of greater strength can endure the dizzying effects.
2010 will a massive undertaking for me. Although I do have my hesitations, I look forward to completing at least one goal, while maintaining the authenticity of Grade A Fresh. I no longer want to re-write what I have done the previous year. I do believe my diary is sick of it and I, too, have grown frustrated of re-reading essentially the same thing. January will be my time to reflect and refocus while 2010 will be my time to write new entries.
Come back in February. I promise to have plenty to see and read and hopefully to enjoy. Maybe, by that time, I will be an accomplished multi-tasker. Better to do many things at least once than not to do them at all.
Here’s to what the future may bring. Cin Cin!